Friday, September 22, 2006

Breaking News From Pakistan: Osama bin Laden Murdered By "Ronbo"




September 22, 2006

Peshawar, Pakistan

Associated Press (AP)

Pakistan's President confirms rumors that Osama bin Laden was killed yesterday by a former American soldier identified as "Ronbo."

Reports say that Ronbo, an alias for Ronald Barbour, a former soldier of Military Intelligence and highly skilled assassin, discovered bin Laden hiding in a cesspool covered with human waste who was breathing air thru a straw. After pulling the dread Moslem terrorist leader of Al Qaeda out of the latrine and hosing him down with water to confirm his true identity, Ronbo first beat, then stabbed, then shot and, finally, beheaded bin Laden with a dull butter knife before video cameras and reporters.

It is not clear whether the beating, stabbing, or beheading, or a combination of all actually killed bin Laden, but clearly he is dead.

When told the news about the death of Osama bin Laden, Senator McCain said,

"Naturally I am pleased that The Terrorist Master Mind of Al Qaeda is dead, like all Americans I well remember the horror of 9/11, however, former Staff Sergeant Barbour has violated the new guidelines the Senate has put together in regards to a ban on torture by U.S. military personnel, which would also include retired and seperated veterans. This incident was clearly a personal vendetta, and Barbour's actions mock what this country stands for: Liberty and Justice for All. I mean Osama bin Laden was innocent until proven guilty. I hope the Attorney General indicts Ronbo for murder. This era of street justice must end."

Later at a news conference when asked for comments about the brutal murder of Osama bin Laden in Pakistan, President Bush said, "No comment" with a smile.

The shocking video of this incident at 6:30 P.M. on CBS.

(AP)

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