ALERT: Manhunt Under Way

MOSCOW--Palouse County authorities have issued a statewide alert under the new "Cuckoo's Nest Law" asking citizens to provide information about the whereabouts of fugitive Michael Costello.

Asked about the reason for this search, Palouse County sheriff Bubba Broomkevitch said that Costello poses a distinct danger to himself and others. When asked why, Broomkevitch said, "The man is certifiably insane, a maniac."

When pressed for details, the sheriff noted that Costello recently tried to engage WSU "professor" John Streamas in discourse.

"This is an open-and-shut case," said Broomkevitch. "Anyone who is crazy enough to try to elicit rational discourse from 'professor' Streamas clearly should be locked in a padded cell."

Broomkevitch went on to urge the public to remain calm. "Costello is armed with a rapier wit and should be approached with extreme caution."

When reached for comment, Costello's attorney, who wished to remain anonymous, agreed. "Costello needs to be locked up for his own welfare, and his family should immediately petition the court for full power of attorney over his affairs. What in the hell was he thinking when he tried to engage in discourse with 'professor' Streamas? It's madness."

Recently, Costello was part of an exchange with "professor" Streamas about a Washington law barring the use of the word "Oriental" in official government documents.

A local clinical psychologist, who also wished to remain anonymous, noted that attempting to engage in discourse with a man who makes his living by being angry and bitter is a clear sign of mental imbalance. "The so-called 'professor' teaches the politics of victimization. Clearly, as a tenured 'professor' at a Pac-10 university, swilling from the public trough, Streamas is a victim of unspeakable bigotry. Accordingly, he has memorized all the slogans of victimization, and remains enamored not only the cliches of his ideology but with the sound of his own voice. There are, however, medications Costello can take to deal with this syndrome."

Authorities urge Costello to turn himself in and get treatment. Broomkevitch is making a public appeal. "Mike, for the love of God, get help. Stop the madness. Don't encourage 'professor' Streamas."