Saturday, February 11, 2006

The Republican Presidential candidate in 2008?


The great thing about being born American (And you have to be a native American: So sorry Arnold and the other foreign born naturalized Presidential wanna-be-Americans!) is that in theory you have an equal shot at being elected President of the Great Republic.

I don't recall anything in the Constitution that says you must be sane to be President, and as a certain Senator from Arizona (another possible presidential candidate for 2008) has proven in his many years in public office being sane is not a qualification for the U.S. Senate as well.

Why not a raving loony tune as President of the United States? At least his heart is in the right place and this guy is a Republican. What better way to confront the loony tune rulers of the Muslim world than with our very own Yankee Doodle Loony Tune? Can you imagine the U.S. Secretary of State saying to the Iranians in 2009, "I'm sorry guys, but President Mike was told by God to nuke your country back to the Stone Age and then kill all the male children."

STATUS: ANNOUNCED CANDIDATE. This gadfly candidate -- who also uses the name "Saint Michael Jesus the Archangel" -- appears rather delusional. "From the time I was a little boy I knew I was God and Michael the Archangel, but I didn't dare tell anyone, not even anyone in my family because I knew that the devil, Satan, was going to try to murder Me, and indeed he did try, four separate times," he explains. He also writes a lot about "My Big Brother, Jesus Christ, Whose parents, My spouse the Blessed Virgin Mary Michelle and her guardian spouse, Saint Joseph." Archangel Michael wrote he was a Vietnam War veteran who attempted suicide when, he explains, he suffered from depression and paranoia; and later became a "a volunteer Secret Agent for the Central Intelligence Agency without pay." A former janitor, he is a self-employed "writer" these days. As for politics, he describes himself as a "Reagan Republican" -- but adds he has also briefly drifted in and out of the Libertarian Party twice over the years. Michael the Archangel says he is a "radical conservative Republican" who recognizes "the fact that America is an official Theocracy." I'll just let him explain it in his own words: "The cultural/educational struggle going on between liberals and conservatives ... will decide whether the liberals are allowed to take this nation further and further down the road to socialist destruction or whether the conservatives will take our country back for God and the people. As a 2008 election Republican Presidential candidate, I hope all you Libertarians become Christians. Your support for the pro-choice position vis-a-vis abortion is just as destructive as the Communazis' position on that subject. The Democrats are complete Socialists, that is, Communazis." He also wants tougher enforcement of narcotics laws, a total ban on tobacco sales, opposes any gay rights laws, supports a total ban on abortion, etc. You can find lots and lots of very long pages of writing like this -- all of which proclaim this candidate to be God -- on his official website:

ArchangelMichael.info (you've got to scroll down very far on the homepage to find the link to his Presidential campaign and his autobiography).

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