Showing posts with label Humor and Satire. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor and Satire. Show all posts

Monday, March 1, 2010

Tsunami slams Khazaristan! - 6,000,000 feared dead in Aquacaust

Transcribed in full from source, http://judicial-inc.org:


Tsunami Slams Israel And 6,000,000 Are Dead

Actual picture of giant (800') wave hitting Tel Aviv!! 6,000,000 are dead in a 'Aquacaust' (water holocaust).




Israelis Mourn Their Relatives




Israeli Children Take To The Roof-Tops




Israelis Are Praying By The Thousands




Panic Sets In




Esther Lost Her Entire Family Of 4,000




Mass Pray Vigils For Missing Israelis






Millions Are Already Dead From This Killer Wave

This may be an 'Aquacaust' (A water holocaust). It is estimated that 6,000,000 will die.

















Beit Shalom Synagogue Wiped Out By Monster Wave

Rabbi Shitelstein says "We have already buried two million dead Jews, so the death toll will easily be 6,000,000".



















Where Is God?

How much more can the Jewish people take?
















Impacted Bowels

Many Israelis are straining at the seams.






















Mel Fromstein Was A Hero

When the wave hit, it left a Tel Aviv orphanage 40 feet underwater. Mel Fromstein, a local hero, who led the 'Escape from Sobibor', was a French partisan, was Gen. Patton's bodyguard, and was the first American on Normandy Beach, jumped into action. He heard the screams of the children and made fifty dives, saving 100 kids.















Much Like The Holocaust, There Is A Lack Of Bodies

Tel Aviv survivors testified that crocodiles roamed the streets and ate the bodies. Herds of killer whales, sharks, man-eating sea turtles ate the victims that washed out to sea.













Whales Ate The Bodies

An 'Aquacaust' (Water Holocaust) Where Killer Whales Eat Innocent Jews











Will You Donate To Help Find The Missing 6 Million Jews?

Poll Results:

Yes - Put me down for $5,000 13% Total Votes: 45

No - Holocausts, Mengele, Anne Frank, etc, and now an 'Aquacaust'. You are full of sh*t, this is another Zio-Hoax! 87% Total Votes: 298

343 votes total

Notable Comments From PollCode:

From Bibi Nutty-yahu on February 28, 2010 at 9:37 pm.
If you look closely, you can see Elie Wiesel surfing the wave.

-----------------

From Mammon Grabbinsky on February 28, 2010 at 6:22 am.
But you forgot the evil Germans in this story. Actually, this tsunami was caused by Hitler's own submarine off the coast of Chile.

-----------------

From Gilda organ-theftski on February 28, 2010 at 5:03 am.
My grandparents escaped from 3 tidal waves and were brought up by stingrays, they don't speak much english but they say they want $5m for their sufferink.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

"Epic Beard Man" Beat Down - 67 yo bearded White Man Whips Ass of Black Thug on Oakland, CA Transit System

Going viral all over...too good to not pass along.

Some typical Afro-American shit-talking pussy thug-wanna-be picks a fight with an old man, now being called "Epic Beard Man", on the Oakland, CA transit system, and gets his ass beat -- leaving him spitting up blood and asking them to "bring da amba-lamps". Some "sista" filmed the whole incident, and female groids egged on the thug saying "say it again pinky...beat his white ass".



story

and if you literally want to lyao...





This incident is a microsm of life in America. Hood-rat, 70 IQ negroes with unwarranted puffed-up bravado from years of JewMedia propaganda telling them they are "gangsta" and "whitey" is "weak", exhibiting their outright hatred for "whitey" for all the past "injustices."

The female negroids are calling for their "brotha" to "kick whitey's ass"...but then when whitey actually kicks the ass of their "strong brotha", suddenly they want to press charges. And the negro was the one who instigated the confrontation. No hypocrisy there. Then they steal the white man's bag to boot.

I think Epic Beard Man has been arrested for the incident....for what amounts to self defense. Haven't heard if the Negro buck is in jail. If the incident wasn't filmed/documented, they'd probably get away with convicting the old man of a "racist hate crime."

These completely delusional and blatantly hypocritical negroids would probably tell you straight-faced that "they's ain't racists", but "the Old Bearded 'Cracka' probably is racist", and "we's didn't steal his bag." Even when they were stupid enough to upoad the video to the internet with the evidence contained therein for all to see.

It'll be a cold day in hell before Tyrone is charged with a "hate crime" for attacking this man, or the female groids are castigated as "racists" by the JewMedia for yelling out "kick whitey's ass!", or the she-gorilla is charged for stealing the man's bag.

But it looks like "whitey" is going to have the last laugh.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Ode to The Holohoax




Everywhere geysers spurting out blood
from the millions buried in the mud,
Lived for months under the floor
and thus escaped the gas chamber door,

Escaped the camp and lived with a bear
I was only seven and they shaved off all my hair,
The Angel of Death stitched people together
They even turned Jews into briefcases of leather,

Ane evil Ukranian guard ripped babies in half
Some were strangled by Mengele's silk scarf,
I survived being gassed numerous times
so I could tell the world about these crimes,

I came to Germany and found my Jewels,
Others kept rings they hid in their stools,
The barbaric Nazis stole all our gold
for 60 years this hoax has been told,

Our agenda centres on lies and deceit
to make the dumb Goyim fall at our feet.



by: Crush The Talmudic Zionist Serpent











Sources:

- Moshe Peer's Astounding Holy Shoah tale - Gassed six times by the Nazis and survived!!
- Irene Zisblatt's incredible Hoaxacaust tale- Ate and retrieved diamonds from feces, had 2 post-sterilization children, weighed 40 lbs when liberated
- "A Year in Treblinka" by Yankel Wiernik - Babies torn in half, woman leaps 10 ft barbed-wire fence, guards nail inmates' ears to walls, etc
- Elie Wiesel: Prominent Liar and Anti-German Hatemonger; Claims jews "burned alive in flaming ditches" and "ground spurted geysers of jewish blood"
- NY jews play cards and tell Holy Hoax stories - Morris Hubert says a jew was thrown into a cage with a bear every day at Buchenwald
- Yanina Cywinska's Holy Hoax tale-"Nazis paraded around briefcases and lamps made of human skin while washing their bodies with soap from Jewish bone"







Other Articles of Interest:

- Introduction to the Holocaust™ Hoax
- William Lowenberg's astounding Holy Hoax tale - Had a magic thirst-quenching pebble, did not drink water, survived on his saliva for 3 years
- Rivka Yosselevska's absurd Holy Hoax fable - Escaped biting jew corpses, witnessed geysers of blood
- More Tales of the Holohoax


Tuesday, November 10, 2009

The 12 Stages of a Holohoax Tale



1. The survivor is put in a cattle car filled with hundreds of jews and a poop bucket, and sent to the camp, usually Auschwitz. Many Jews die of suffocation, but none of thirst, since a jew can survive for 3 years just on their own saliva.

2. The survivor stands in a line, to be chosen either for the gas chamber or the kitchen/orchestra/workshops. Close family members are always put in the other line. Even though all those under 16 are immediately gassed at Auschwitz, many young kids are sent to the work line.

3. The survivor comes face to face with Joseph Mengele himself, who decides to spare their life because Mengele had never seen a dancing Jew, a singling Jew, a Jew with no pimples, or a Jew who said they would work hard for him.

4. The survivor lives on a meager ration of 200-300 calories per day, including turnip heads/potato skins/excrement/grass soup/sawdust salami/human flesh, bones and hair/cat/rat/dog meat/mice/etc.

5. However they are still strong enough to work for the Germans, including making furniture/carpentry/electrician/plumber/V-2maker.

6. The survivor has some gold, daimonds or other jewelrey hidden about their person, which they use to bribe the guards for favours, or pay for a visit to the camp brothel.

7. They are taken to the gas chambers, but miraculously escape at the last minute, evading the guards. All their friends are killed. They witness other horrible atrocities, including babies burned alive in pits, geysers of jewish blood spurting out of the ground, or people burned alive in the ovens when the gas chambers were too busy.

8. The survivor is then forced to take part in a 'death march' which never actually leads to death. Often the survivor runs away!

9. The survivor is then transferred to another camp, where they cheat death again. This may be repeated any number of times.

10. The survivor escapes, right under the guards' noses, lives in the forest for a couple of years, then eventually emigrates to America/Britain/Australia/Israel although they have no friends, family or money. Then the survivor buys a multinational corporation. They are the only member of their large family of 200 to survive, and weigh only 40-50 pounds when they are rescued.

11. For 60 years the survivor says nothing about his or her experiences. Then suddenly they can't talk about anything else. They usually write a memoir called 'Dancing to the Music of my Dreams - A Survivor's Story'.

12. The survivor has now found peace, and spends the rest of his/her life telling their amazing story to schoolchildren. Only the very youngest ones, of course.

-by: CooDayTar, Yehuda Abraham & Lone Wolf







Other Articles of Interest:
- Introduction to the Holocaust™ Hoax
- Tales of the Holohoax - Archive of absurd "Holocaust Survivor" stories

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Species of bacteria the cause of severe chronic puss-filled festering boils named after Elie Wiesel














"Messenger to Mankind", Elie Wiesel

By Moshe Zisblatt Wiesenthal, October 10, 2009
TWOW News

A species of bacteria that causes particularly severe and dangerous boils became known as Staphylococci Eliewieselus Furunculosis, in honor of jewish holocaust survivor and Nobel Prize laureate Elie Wiesel. This comes just days after an asteroid between the planets Mars and Jupiter became known as Miep Gies, in honor of the Dutch woman who preserved the diary of Anne Frank. (story)

Dr. Zundel Rassinier, an infectious-disease specialist, discovered the species in the 1960s, but held off naming it until just recently. He has decided to name it Staphylococci Eliewieselus Furunculosis, saying he wanted to draw attention to the steadfast courage of the now 81-year-old Wiesel who is the author of 52 books, a professor of philosophy and recipient of more than 100 honorary degrees. The bacteria causes a recurring boil that poses increased risk of the infection gaining access to the bloodstream, leading to serious illness.

Elie Wiesel was born in Sighet, the Transylvania region of Romania, on September 30, 1928. In May 1944, Hungarian authorities allowed the German army to deport local Jews. Wiesel spent time in two Nazi "death" camps, Auschwitz and Buchenwald before being liberated by the American Army in April 1945. In the 1950s, Wiesel published his first book, a novel, "And the World Remained Silent," which was shortened and printed as "Night."

" 'Night' is a memoir; totally every word is true," Wiesel said. "Everything (in it) happened, everything was destroyed. Therefore, we can't single out one episode or one event" as fact or fiction."

One of the most heart-rending sections of the book is where Wiesel describes how the Nazis exterminated Jewish babies by throwing them alive into flaming ditches. He writes:

"Not far from us, flames were leaping from a ditch, gigantic flames. They were burning something. A lorry drew up at the pit and delivered its load -- little children. Babies! Yes, I saw it -- saw it with my own eyes ... Those children in the flames. (Is it surprising that I could not sleep after that? Sleep has fled from my eyes.)"

Wiesel also recounts amazing stories from other Holocaust witnesses in "Night", including from Babi Yar, a place in Ukraine where the Germans executed Soviet citizens, among them Jews:

"Later, I learn from a witness that, for month after month, the ground never stopped trembling; and that, from time to time, geysers of blood spurted from it."

In 1978, President Jimmy Carter appointed Wiesel the Chairman of the President's Commission on the Holocaust, and he became Founding Chairman of the United States Holocaust Memorial Council in 1980, which eventually lead to the creation of the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum which opened in 1993.

Wiesel was been awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the Medal of Liberty Award, the rank of Grand-Croix in the French Legion of Honor, the Congressional Gold Medal by the United States Congress, and the Nobel Peace Prize in 1986. Wiesel now lives in New York and teaches in Boston. He speaks a number of languages and writes mainly in French.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Obama Sidelined With Translucent Skin Attributed To Overexposure

photo via ObamaMessiah
Carbolic Smoke Ball

WASHINGTON – President Obama cancelled his appearance in Pittsburgh Tuesday to address the AFL-CIO convention after White House physcians say his skin started to glow with a bright light of unknown origin that shines from his every pore.

Members of the White House staff reportedly were forced to wear sunglasses when speaking with Mr. Obama on Monday, and Mrs. Obama told a Washington insider that the dazzling light kept her awake all night Monday. “His skin was white as snow,” she said.

Physicians said the condition is due to overexposure. “We warned the President this would happen to him if he insisted on being on television every time you turn it on,” said Obama’s physician Dr. Noah Swayne.

Former Chairman of the Democratic National Committee and physican Howard Dean rejected the overexposure diagnosis and said Obama is experiencing a transfiguration akin to the one Jesus experienced, according to the New Testament.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Oh the horror...

Where are the anti hate speech laws when you need them?

Just look at the pain in the weasel's eyes...makes me tear up...


Vhen vill ze sufferink end??!!



I have my suspicions that Ahmadinejad is controlled-op. But even if he isn't, the JewMedia is using him as the current poster-boy for Holohoax denial because they think that Ahmadinejad has such a "bad" public image from all their smear propaganda against him and Iran in general...and therefore, they can smear the movement by association with such an "evil" individual.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Following 'Inglorious Basterds', Let Public Finally Hear the Tale of David Rubitsky - Killed 619 Japanese Single-Handed



David Rubitsky The Forgotten Hero Of WW-2


WND ran with this garbage...

The David Rubitsky story

February 26, 2001
By Joseph Farah
© 2009 WorldNetDaily.com

[...]

Rubitsky spent a total of 21 hours in the bunker -- including nine under heavy siege. The Japanese army attacked from three different directions -- the north, south and west. His bunker had slits on all sides, making it possible for him to respond to an attack from any direction. He switched from gun to gun and threw grenades at the enemy, while the Japanese alternately charged his position and shelled it with light artillery.

When the fighting was over, Rubitsky was bleeding from the mouth, nose and elsewhere and suffering from multiple concussions from the shelling. But the Japanese were a lot worse off.

When Lt. Col. Herbert Smith came up to the bunker the next day, he estimated that Rubitsky had single-handedly killed 500 to 600 Japanese soldiers, thereby saving his own battalion from being decimated in a surprise attack.

That same month, Smith and Stehling recommended Rubitsky for the Medal of Honor.

But Rubitsky didn't get the medal. The late Maj. Gen. Smith, Brig. Gen. Stehling and three other soldiers from the 128th Infantry, the 2nd Battalion and the 32nd Division in New Guinea all concluded that the reason Rubitsky did not get the award was anti-Semitism.

Smith stated, before he died in 1989, that after referring the recommendation up the chain of command he was told by a lieutenant colonel: "We don't give Jews the Congressional Medal of Honor."

[...]

There's talk of a movie being made about David Rubitsky. But before the full story can really be told -- on the big screen or elsewhere -- it needs a happy ending.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Obama Says Sotomayor’s “Castrate White Males” Comment Taken Out of Context (satire)




Carbolic Smoke Ball

WASHINGTON – President Obama said that comments by Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor in a 2004 speech in which she called for the “castration of all white males until they are no longer dominant,” have been “taken out of context” by right wing ideologues.

In the speech delivered to the San Juan chapter of NOW, Sotomayor said, “I want to be perfectly clear about this next comment so that there is no mistaking my words to mean something other than what they plainly say: the time has come to end white male oppression by castrating every white male until they are no longer dominant in Western culture. That means forcible removal of their testicles. I realize the brutality of my comment, and I don’t know how to say it more clearly.”

It was revealed that Sotomayor used precisely the same language in seven other speeches.

White House spokesman Robert Gibbs agreed with President Obama that the statement “has been taken out of context,” and added that Sotomayor “certainly did not mean” that white males should be castrated. “Judge Sotomayor was simply saying that there should be room at the American table for diverse cultures, that’s all. It is astounding that people are reading ‘castration’ into it.”

President Obama told MSNBC: ”Look, when Judge Sotomayor appears before the Senate committee, all this nonsense being spewed out by ideologues will be revealed for what it is.”


via News Cottage

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

The Creed of the Church of the Shoah



THE APOSTATE'S CREED

I believe in one Holocaust®, conceived in Hollywood, born of the New York media: and in Six Million Judaics, who suffered under Adolf Hitler and were gassed, made into lampshades and cremated. In the 21st century they arose again, to haunt the living and the dead. I believe in Elie Wiesel and the geysers of blood, and Arnold Friedman and the color-coded crematory smoke, the holy Shoah biz Church, the communist saints, no forgiveness of German sins, the resurrection of lies, and the shelf-life everlasting of the Auschwitz gas chamber stories. Amen.

-Michael Hoffman

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Global Chess 3000



by Greg Bacon
Monday, February 23, 2009

ZionCon™, creators of "9/11," "Shock and Awe", "Gaza Blockade" and "Financial Collapse '08" are pleased to announce their latest game for the moneyed elite called "Global Chess 3000."

George Bush Sr., CEO of ZioCon™, issued a press release lauding the new strategic game being played on GC 3000. Bush said that they were creating a "new reality" of the world, casting and shaping the globe to benefit the upper crust and as such, they deserved a game befitting their status.

The old chess pieces will be replaced by the following creations of the Masters of Disaster at ZioCon™, said their Executive VP in charge of development, Benjamin "Bennie" Olmert. Olmert said that focus groups rated these life-like pieces high, since they seem so realistic.

The Knight will be replaced by the "Mercenary." The Merc will be dressed in a Ninja like outfit, with a hood covering his face. He will be armed with fragmentation grenades and a assault rifle. He will serve at the Queen's discretion and his moves known only to the Queen and her inner circle. The "Merc" is authorized by his Queen to shoot on sight anyone the "Merc" deems an obstacle to the Queen's global conquest.

The Bishop will now be called the "Televangelist." This piece will be dressed in a custom made silk suit from Saville Row, wear a $736,000 dollar Frank Muller timepiece and have bullet proof hair. The beauty of the TE is that he is so stealthy at getting pawns to believe bunk that their minds are easy for takeover and domination, which in turn leads to control of the Global game board.

The rook will now be called the "News Anchor." The News Anchor will not actually physically move around the board, but his mouth will flap incessantly, making the other pawns think they are actually hearing something worth listening to and at the same time, filling the pawn's mind with useless dreck, which gives the opponent an easy prey.

The pawns, said "Bennie", will stay true to their past and present places in history and remain pawns. He added that there are more than enough pieces available to become pawns and as in the past, are more than willing to die to help the King and Queen achieve their goals.

"Bennie" added that ZioCon™ had toyed with the idea of changing the pawns name to "cannon fodder" or "suckers", but that making something so evident that obvious could impact profits, so it was decided to let the pawns stay.

ZioCon™ said they wanted to retain a bit of old world flavor in their new game, so they elected to keep the King and Queen pieces as originally designed.

The ZioCon™ spokesperson said that having a King and Queen rule over the Global Chess 3000 board was a reflection of actualities in the real world, with untold numbers of pawns literally fighting over scraps of bread, so long as their King and Queen could live in the lap of luxury.

Monday, February 23, 2009

A HoloHoax tale and a story of Nazi Yetis and Schindler Squirrels

The Holocaust, a tale of Yetis, and speaking at universities

Another Holocaust Tale




Ms Cukier Spoke At An Exclusive College In Malta



What's Her Holocaust Tale?

Faye Cukier, was a Polish Jew. She claimed her family lived in Belgium, in a hidden basement apartment, for six years. "I lost my youth while hiding," Cukier said. "I've tried to recapture it through writing my story."

Yet as the Nazis' methods of "weeding out" Jews became more brutal, the Cukiers were forced to go underground. A Belgian family hid them. The family spent years in fear of being discovered -- and in desperation as supplies dwindled and hunger set in.Once, the Gestapo paid a surprise visit to the family hiding in the apartment below. "The father jumped out of the window, and they shot him in mid-air." Then they took the man's wife and daughter away, Faye said.


What's The Big Deal?

Some clown says she "Hide in the basement" for six years, so who cares. The point is that some fool dean at a distinguished school in Malta allowed this fleabag to spin her silly tales. Seeing thousands of Jews killed in Kristallnacht, Nazis shooting Jews, or whatever, to a bunch of naive students.


My Personal Story Is Much More Terrifying



Why not allow me to tell my story of horror. My family was kidnapped by Yetis while vacationing at Yellowstone. I hide in a tree for three years, only surviving because squirrels fed me nuts. I watched as a family of Yetis ate 300 tourists. When a wildfire struck, the Yetis all ran to the river, and I ran to the ranger station.



Comments

From Lese Majeste on February 23, 2009

Everyone knows Yetis are "anti-Semitic."
They all should be hunted down and forced to listen to holohoax stories read by Alan Dirtbagowitz while Abe Fartman picks their pocket.


From Dov Wisenheimer on February 23, 2009

That's nothing.
Some very nice people in Kracow hid my aunt Ida in their home after she escaped from the camp where she was gassed four times but survived. When she showed up at this home she only weighed 20 lbs. When the Nazis came looking for her, she quickly disguised herself as a turkey and hid in the refrigerator. Unfortunately, after the Nazis searched the entire house, they decided to look in the refrigerator for something to eat. When they saw the "turkey" they demanded the lady of the house cook it. What could she do? If they found out the turkey was really my aunt, the whole family would have been taken to the camp, so reluctantly, she cooked the "bird" and everyone had to eat it as not to arouse suspition. One of the Nazis even made a comment about how the turkey tasted like chicken.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

There's No Business Like Shoah Business!

You Too Can Be A Holocaust Survivor!Becoming a Holocaust survivor will open millions of new horizons for you! A wide range of specialty fields in Shoah Business are open to you through the college of Hebrew Youth Public Education (HYPE.)*Learn documentation alteration where you can make anyone into a wanted Nazi war criminal! Special instruction from former Soviet KGB operatives, the folks who gave our industry the famous, one-of-a-kind Demjanjuk SS ID Card!*Major in kosher accounting, the most creative number-crunching system ever evolved, where everything add up to six million!*Make your fortune in the lucrative field of reparations racketeering! Learn how to extort money from the European country of your choice by finding "Nazi gold" hidden in every bank account!*Get into the incredibly profitable Holocaust book business! A hose nose and one of our diplomas will certify you as a Holocaust expert! In addition to the book sales there are the lecture tours, the media appearances, the guest speaker circuit at fancy-schmancy Holocaust drinkie-dos, and above all those eye-popping consultancy fees! Being a recognized Holocaust maven is a license to print money!*Learn Holocaust Museum Management and have your own personal fantasy land! Maybe even build your own Holocaust theme park complete with weekend package tours in an authentic replica Nazi concentration camp, complete with striped suits, wash-off tattooed numbers, KZ ration meals and SS-uniformed "guards"!**Like to travel? Then become a professional war crimes witness!At graduation from HYPE you will receive a diploma, a tattoo (your social security number, but no one will ever be so impolite as to point it out), and your meal ticket for life!Fairy tales can come true! It can happen to you at Hebrew Youth Public Education!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

White Guilt is Finally Over

http://www.rense.com/general84/white.htmWhite Guilt Is Now DeadBy Tom Adkins11-12-8 Look at my fellow conservatives! There they go, glumly shuffling along, depressed by the election aftermath. Not me. I'm virtually euphoric. Don't get me wrong. I'm not thrilled with America 's flirtation with neo socialism. But there's a massive silver lining in those magical clouds that lofted Barak Obama to the Presidency. For today, without a shred of intellectually legitimate opposition, I can loudly proclaim to America : The Era of White Guilt is over. This seemingly impossible event occurred because the vast majority of white Americans didn't give a fluff about skin color, and enthusiastically pulled the voting lever for a black man. Not just any black man. A very liberal black man who spent his early career race-hustling banks, praying in a racist church for 20 years, and actively worked with America-hating domestic terrorists. Wow! Some resume! Yet they made Barak Obama their leader. Therefore, as of Nov 4th, 2008, white guilt is dead. For over a century, the millstone of white guilt hung around our necks, retribution for slave-owning predecessors. In the 60s, American liberals began yanking that millstone while sticking a fork in the eye of black Americans, exacerbating the racial divide to extort a socialist solution. But if a black man can become President, exactly what significant barrier is left? The election of Barak Obama absolutely destroys the entire validation of liberal white guilt. The dragon is hereby slain. So today, I'm feeling a little "uppity," if you will. From this day forward, my tolerance level for having my skin color hustled is now exactly ZERO. And it's time to clean house. No more Reverend Wright's "God Damn America ," Al Sharpton's Church of Perpetual Victimization , or Jesse Jackson's rainbow racism. Cornell West? You're a fraud. Go home. All those "black studies" programs that taught kids to hate whitey? You must now thank Whitey. And I want that on the final. Congressional Black Caucus? Irrelevant. Maxine Waters? Shut up. ACORN? Outlawed. Black Panthers? Go home and pet your kitty. Black separatists? Find another nation that offers better dreams. Go ahead. I'm waiting. Gangsta rappers? Start praising America . Begin with the Pledge of Allegiance. And please.no more ebonics. Speak English, and who knows where you might end up? Oh, yeah.pull up your pants. Your underwear is showing. You look stupid. To those Eurosnots who forged entire careers hating America ? I'm still waiting for the first black French President. And let me offer an equal opportunity whupping. I've always despised lazy white people. Now, I can talk smack about lazy black people. You're poor because you quit school, did drugs, had three kids with three different fathers, and refuse to work. So when you plop your Colt 45-swilling, Oprah watchin' butt on the couch and complain"Da Man is keepin' me down," allow me to inform you: Da Man is now black. You have no excuses. No more quotas. No more handouts. No more stealing my money because someone's great-great-great-great grandparents suffered actual pain and misery at the hands of people I have no relation to, and personally revile. It's time to toss that massive, obsolete race-hustle machine upon the heap of the other stupid 60s ideas. Drag it over there, by wife swapping, next to dope-smoking. Plenty of room right between free love and cop-killing. Careful.don't trip on streaking. There ya go, don't be gentle. Just dump it. Wash your hands. It's filthy. In fact, Obama's ascension created a gargantuan irony. How can you sell class envy and American unfairness when you and your black wife went to Ivy League schools, got high-paying jobs, became millionaires, bought a mansion, and got elected President? How unfair is that??? Now, Like a delicious O'Henry tale, Obama's spread-the-wealth campaign rendered itself moot by it's own victory! America is officially a meritocracy. Obama's election has validated American conservatism! So, listen carefully.Wham!!! That's the sound of my foot kicking the door shut on the era of white guilt. The rites have been muttered, the carcass lowered, dirt shoveled, and tombstone erected. White guilt is dead and buried. However, despite my glee, there's apparently one small, rabid bastion of American racism remaining. Black Americans voted 96% for Barak Obama. Hmmm. In a color-blind world, shouldn't that be 50-50? Tonight, every black person should ask forgiveness for their apparent racism and prejudice towards white people. Maybe it's time to start spreading the guilt around.

Friday, November 7, 2008

Big Pharma Pushes 'Miracle Cure' For Holocaust Denial Syndrome

Big Pharma Pushes 'Miracle Cure' For Holocaust Denial SyndromeBy Michael Jamesin Frankfurt, GermanyFRANKFURT, Germany -- Governments, police services, and prison authorities around the world are reportedly "overjoyed" by the launch of a new prescription drug that cures people who doubt the veracity of the so-called Jewish Holocaust.Shares in Israel-based Goy & Goy Pharmaceuticals Incorporated rocketed to 89 US dollars following the long-awaited announcement of a miracle cure for Holocaust Denial Syndrome (HDS).Soon to be marketed and sold under the name Holozac, the drug works by closing down the brain's center of intellectual inquiry. It also blocks the re-uptake of politically incorrect neurotransmitters involved in critical thought processes, making it more difficult to distinguish between truth and lies."We're simply overwhelmed by the response of the governments we control in the Zionist West," says Ari Scheister, Marketing Director for Goy & Goy's regional office in Germany. "Particularly so in the European Union where prisons are bursting at the seams with professors, journalists, and academics who each suffer the symptoms of advanced and potentially fatal HDS and other diseases associated with human awareness and a passion for the truth."Europe's most prominent sufferers, Ernst Zundel, Germar Rudolf, and David Irving are said to be in a stable condition following incarceration in high-security prison facilities for People Who Read Books (PWRBs)."Next to People Who Have the Audacity to Actually Write Books (PWHTATAWBs), the PWRBs are our most urgent concern," says Guenther Gutmensch, Parliamentary Chairman of the Federal Commission for Confiscating and Burning Books That Make People Think Something Ain't Right (FCFCABBTMPTSAR). "They ask lots of questions and they have an unnatural and very unhealthy obsession with finding out the truth. They simply do not believe a word we say."Goy & Goy Pharmaceuticals were given the green light by EU health regulators yesterday following extensive double-blind tests involving twenty HDS sufferers. Over a seven-day period, the patients were allowed unrestricted access to a library of detailed and scientifically authenticated studies of the so-called Jewish Holocaust. Ten of the patients were given a placebo, whereas each of the other ten was administered 500 mg of Holozac twelve times a day."The results were astonishing," says Dr Ron Haggler, who supervised the trial. "On the first day, both groups quickly found all three volumes of the 1948 'Report of the International Committee of the Red Cross', and 'The Hoax of the Twentieth Century' by Arthur Butz. On the second day, patients were still reading and discussing Germar Rudolf's 'Lectures on the Holocaust' and Juergen Graf's seminal 'The Giant with Feet of Clay'.""However," continues Haggler, "by Wednesday morning the group treated with Holozac had actually pushed aside Carlo Mattogno's 'Auschwitz: Rumor and Reality' and Norman Finkelstein's 'The Holocaust Industry' in favor of the semi-mythical 'Schindler's List'. At the end of the experiment they were actually fighting over the only available copy of Germany's favourite self-loathing, government-controlled newspaper 'Bild Zeitung'."There are however side effects associated with Holozac. Its active ingredient, Zionine, has been shown to cause a pathological hatred of Palestinians and Muslims in general."It's not for cartoonists or editor's of Mossad-controlled newspapers," Haggler explained. "We are also cautioning doctors not to prescribe to patients who have a habit of harming either themselves or complete strangers and who then blame that harm on imaginary Arab terrorists."Haggler's colleagues also stress that giving the drug to Christians who have been artfully persuaded to believe a false, unscriptural, satanic doctrine known as the Zionist Dispensation would be sheer overkill."Cyrus Scofield and the Rapture crowd did to American Christians what this drug can do to the Holy Remnant," says an Israeli team coordinator, smiling. "Pastors and Ministers in the United States, who have deliberately confused the pristine Kingdom of God with a stretch of worthless real estate on a spinning ball of dirt, have all but made medical treatment with Holozac unnecessary. A Scofield Reference Bible believer on just one milligram of Zionine would make the Irgun death squad look like the Cub Scouts on a paper chase. Buying stock in Caterpillar would be a smart move. Here's my broker's phone number."Despite such reservations about possible side effects, the European Union has already invested 15 billion euros in what it describes as the most ambitious mental health campaign in modern times."We're talking about targeted pre-emptive measures," says an EU spokesman for Mental Hygiene and Correct Thinking. "Holocaust Denial Syndrome begins at home and in the classroom. Does your child ask questions? Does he or she read books? Does he or she get bored with television news programmes and surf the Internet for uncensored history sites and the truth about September 11? If the answer is 'yes' to any one of these painfully necessary questions, then your child should be treated with Holozac immediately before his or her brain has a chance to fully develop its dangerous critical faculties."Much to the delight of Goy & Goy shareholders, that recommendation was heartily echoed by psychiatric professionals throughout the European Union yesterday."We often find ourselves being called out at short notice to help the police deal with highly intelligent people who question the official version of history and who therefore require urgent medication," says first-responder Heidi Stomp. "At the end of the day, all we want is a society of normal, well-adjusted people who watch television, trust the government, don't ask questions, pay taxes, and love Israel.""Governments are limited in terms of what they can do to keep young men dying in wars for Israel premised upon our cleverly scripted history and other scams," reiterates Ari Scheister. "They can burn books and lie and deceive over and over again, but there's always a hard core of dangerously self-educated and wilfully informed people who persist in asking troublesome questions about our precious and wonderfully unique Holocaust, despite the threat of imprisonment or worse. The only way to deal with this terrible disease and stop the truth from infecting other people is by treating sufferers with our new miracle Holozac.""To paraphrase one of our cleverest non-attributable disinformation slogans of all time," concludes Scheister, "it may not be the only solution, but it's sure as hell the final solution. Pass the Sushi, will ya?"Michael James is a British freelance journalist and translator, resident in Germany for almost 14 years. All of his online journalism is public domain and may therefore be republished freely in any media without permission.

Germans Now Denying the Holocaust Telepathically, Say Jews

Elie Weisel is concerned
Germans Now Denying the Holocaust Telepathically, Say JewsBy Mike James in Germany – 27 March 2008BERLIN (IFPN) -- Germany’s Central Council of Jews (ZJD) has demanded “immediate government action” in response to unsettling findings published in its quarterly social trends report, ‘Virulent Anti-Semitism in Germany Today, Issue 1, 2008’.The report highlights a worrying increase in anti-Semitic sentiment and, more sensationally, the dissemination of holocaust denial “by means of telepathy”.“It’s very frightening and something I cannot ignore given my horrific ordeal in Auschwitz, which I miraculously survived by hiding in a chimney until the camp was liberated,” says the ZJD’s president, Charlotte Knobloch, who is currently suing Google for editorial control of YouTube.“Our own success in determining what constitutes suitable viewing for Internet users in Germany has forced us to imagine alternative scenarios available to young people who don’t trust what the government or their teachers are telling them.”“Never underestimate the power of the Jewish imagination,” she adds.In Germany, anyone who expresses anti-Semitic sentiments or who queries the holocaust by pointing to pre-war and post-war Jewish population statistics or anomalies in the historical record faces prison sentences of up to five years.The law, however, is unclear on the issue of telepathically communicated anti-Semitism and holocaust denial.EXTREMISTS“We know they’re doing it,” says Stephan Kramer, General Secretary of the ZJD. “They are evading punishment by spreading anti-Semitic propaganda and denying the holocaust without writing a word or moving their lips.”Although Kramer has dispatched an unspecified number of undercover Hassidic telepaths and kosher ‘sensitives’ briefed with the task of intercepting telepathic communications in streets, bars, clubs, restaurants, cafes, subways, shops, schools, workplaces and other venues where people may choose to express a personal opinion without being overheard by informers, he admits that telepathically communicated holocaust denial is hard to prove.“But only empirically,” he explains. “Proof is an obsession of those unable to conceive of the truth. In the wrong hands, proof, or a lack of proof, can be misused to establish certain facts incompatible with the truth. Not all facts are factual. What do you want? Another holocaust?”The German government, anxious to reassure the Jewish community, has moved swiftly to calm fears by allocating six million euros in research grants to the ZJD’s hospitality and personal leisure expenses budget.“We are doing everything we can to eradicate the scourge of anti-Semitism in Germany and the European Union,” a government spokesman told IFPN. “The government takes very seriously reports that certain extremist elements in our society are engaged in telepathic holocaust denial and we are monitoring the situation closely.”HUMILIATINGBut official assurances came too late for Israeli tourists Shmuel Linsky and his wife, Diane.“Just the other day I saw a very relaxed German couple with their children spending our reparations money on ice-cream and hot dogs,” says Shmuel scornfully. “They were deliberately and maliciously acting in a way that suggested they were proud to be German, without any sense of shame or guilt. I suddenly felt very threatened by this kind of unspoken anti-Semitism and was overwhelmed by the urge to radio an Israeli F-16 fighter bomber.”Diane Linsky nods her head in pained agreement. They had decided on an impromptu vacation in Germany after watching Angela Merkel on television deliver an impassioned speech to Israel’s parliament, the Knesset.“Mrs Merkel said that Germans would do everything they could to help Israel and protect the Jewish people from anti-Semitism,” she says, her voice cracking. “But when we got here we found we had to pay for our own hotel accommodation and none of the restaurants will let us eat for free, even though we’re Jews and have a long and unique history of suffering.”Shmuel too is overcome by emotion, hardly able to speak. “It’s been humiliating. Even the waiters expect a tip, reminding me of my horrific ordeal in Auschwitz, which I miraculously survived by hiding in a chimney until the camp was liberated,” the 36-year-old Mr Linsky adds bitterly.The Linskys say they had been made to feel “persecuted” and intend to file a claim for compensation. “In fact, we sued before we came out here,” says Diane. “Our lawyer in Tel Aviv was offering special terms and a 30 percent discount.”PARANOIDCritics however have blasted the report as “hysterical”, “irresponsible” and “paranoid”.“Given the long history of hereditary mental illness among people of Jewish descent, I would be inclined to treat reports of telepathically communicated anti-Semitism and holocaust denial with extreme caution,” one of them, a leading professor of evolutionary psychiatry, told IFPN anonymously.“The Jews have a propensity for telling tall stories and a tendency to exaggerate things they hear, or think they hear. Before taking this much further, the German government would be well-advised to read the wealth of medical literature made available over the past 200 years by Jewish physicians themselves, much of which focuses on the very high percentage of dangerous psychotic illnesses and psychopathological disorders found among Ashkenazi Jews. A good starting point would be the Disability Studies Quarterly, Volume 27, No. 4, published in 2007.”“Even their top religious people admit they’re nuts. Rabbis Eric Weiss and Nathaniel Ezray have said that ‘mental illness is a Jewish issue’ and point to the findings of geneticists at John Hopkins University who have identified lamentably high incidences of schizophrenia and bipolar disorder among Ashkenazi Jews. Many suffer from an autosomal recessive trait that goes back thousands of years and which manifests as congenital lying, delusional behaviour and paranoia.”“Unfortunately, instead of being treated in high-security psychiatric hospitals, many of these mentally ill, psychopathic Jews seem to thrive in positions of leadership, spanning the worlds of international finance, the media, academia, law and politics, not only in Europe and Israel, of course, but also in North America and elsewhere.”“We need to ask ourselves why they’ve been expelled from 109 locations around the world since the middle of the third century, and why we’re allowing them to repeat the cycle over and over again, harming not only themselves but everyone else.”“I know it’s not a very politically correct thing to articulate,” the professor concludes, “but when it comes to Jews and some of the ludicrous things they say, I’m afraid we’re dealing with some very sick puppies.”Charlotte Knobloch strongly disagrees. Jews have never harmed anyone, she says.“The fact that the Jewish people have been expelled from 109 locations around the world doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with the Jewish people or that they are in any way disruptive or insane,” she insists. “On the contrary, all of those countries, for no real identifiable reason, experienced periods of anti-Semitic mass insanity, which spontaneously disappeared the moment we were gone.”SURVIVORSMeanwhile, as news breaks that at least a hundred stone-throwing Palestinian children have been either killed or maimed by vigilant Israeli F-16 fighter pilots, the Linskys arrive back in Tel Aviv to an emotional family reception.Shmuel’s great uncle, Rabbi Dov Bronstein, hugs his relative and can hardly contain his tears: “Even though I was born and raised in New Jersey and never set foot in Europe, I will never forget my horrific ordeal in Auschwitz, which I miraculously survived by hiding in a chimney until the camp was liberated.”“It’s so good to be home,” says a visibly relieved Diane Linsky. “We flew Lufthansa and we just knew the German pilots and air hostesses were telepathically denying the holocaust and sharing anti-Semitic thoughts with some of the European passengers .... and they were saying, like, you know, ‘Let’s dump those lying Jews out over the Mediterranean’.”Lufthansa has promised to investigate the allegations.